My son entered this world feet first, literally. He was unconventional from the start and lived the next 56 years with the same disregard for convention.

He was a sweet and happy baby. In early childhood he was a daredevil and grew into an even greater one. He had a lifelong affection for snakes. In fourth grade he announced that he wanted to be a herpetologist, and his knowledge of and fascination with snakes never waned. I still remember bringing his pet bull snake to school for show and tell. That snake hissed in the bucket the entire drive. One of Tony’s later ambitions was to go to Thailand to look for cobras.

Throughout his youth he loved sports, football, baseball, wrestling, and he became an excellent golfer. He loved professional football and even played quarterback in an adult league at age 31. Tony was afraid of nothing. He lived at the far end of the fear spectrum, as far from fear as I am from fearlessness.

He was kind and generous, but he also had his demons. He lived life hard and fast.

In 1999 Tony was living in Arizona when I had to call him to tell him his father was dying. He drove 22 hours straight to be with him. Losing your dad is hard for anyone, but especially at 31. Their relationship had been strained, but Tony loved him deeply.

This child truly had nine lives. In 2020, while in Oregon, he decided on a whim to climb a mountain. He missed the last step and fell 100 feet. He broke his back, his neck, and several other bones, and suffered a serious head injury. Because of COVID, he did not go to the hospital. He carried a 40 pound backpack with broken bones and was in severe pain. It took time before he could return home. He was unable to work and remained in extreme pain until the day he passed, and he never complained.

I nearly lost him again in 2023 when he contracted ARDS. He spent a month in the ICU on a respirator. Doctors did not give him good odds, but once again, Tony beat them.

He wasn’t perfect, who is? Tony and I were extremely close. He knew I would always stand by him, and I did. No matter what.

He worked hard his entire life and was a fine carpenter. In recent years he was no longer able to go fishing, which he loved, and that took much of the life out of him.

We had a ritual every morning. I would text him, Good morning dear, and he would reply, Good morning Mama. I will miss that text for the rest of my days.

A few weeks ago I sent him this poem. He thought it was beautiful.

Your first child experienced every version of you
The good, the bad, and the ugly
And they love you throughout it all
They think they needed you, but
actually you were the one who needed them all along
Your first child made you a proud mother

Writing an obituary for your child is completely out of the natural order. Tony always told me he would die before me. Deep down, I think I knew he would.

I once heard this line in a movie and never forgot it. I was there when you came into this world and I was there when you left.

I love Tony beyond words and will carry him in my heart forever.

Tony was preceded in death by his father Donald and his grandparents. He is survived by his sons, Cole Munsterman of Lincoln and Finn Wortman of Omaha, his mother Kathleen Foral and her husband Jim, his sister Amy Munsterman and her husband Richard Levy, his nieces Sophia and Maya, his uncle John Munstermann and his wife Shelley, and many cousins and friends.

Tony did not wish to have a service.

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